Black women:Aren’t you tired of “single black women” topic?
Question by 
: Black women:Aren’t you tired of “single black women” topic?
This is funny but true, i got it from Essence
“Stop telling me how I think, what to do, how to look, who to date, when to exhale…I beg of you.”
I get it. I really do. Bashing or even borderline bruising Black women is what hot in da streetz. By bashing I mean telling us why we ain’t nothing, ain’t gonna have nothing, ain’t gonna have nobody to share nothing with. Sure, it gets you book deals and blog views and radio shows and talk shows and photo ops and movie deals and basically… paid. I get it. You found a hustle that works and you only have to kick a group of people that are already down to do it.
Oh, you think you’re being helpful offering up your “self-help” and “how-to” and “best way” opinions to us? Even those of you that are not directly authoring the yada-yada, do you really think you’re helping by adding in your “tsk-tsk” or “co-sign” two cents response to the media swirl about all the problems with the sisterhood? You’re not. You are adding to the already cacophonous wall of noise. I respectfully request that right after commenting on this post J… everyone just shut up.
I am talking to celebs and so-called relationship gurus, writers, columnists, bloggers, regular folks talking in the coffee shop, women and men, young and old, Black, White, and everything in between… just STOP.
STOP re-quoting the statistics about successful educated Black women never getting married or having kids. Would you rather we stayed stupid and broke for the sake of a ring? Of course not, so how is reminding us of the statistics going to help? It’s just going to make the desperate more desperate and the hopeless less hopeful. I can’t see the good in that. Those of us staying optimistic become less so in the face of all the overwhelming evidence. Maybe we will (get married), maybe we won’t but the continuous talk of a “crisis” in the community (because of our unmarried state) is just plain mean.
STOP telling me how to look to catch a man. No, it’s not my weight. I’ve been everything from a size 8 to a 22 and back again and had a man at every one of those sizes. No, it’s not my hair, I’ve been straight, kinky, wavy, weaved, pony-tailed and darn near bald… had a man at every step of the way there, too. For every so-called flawless woman with a ring, I can name two so-called flawless women without one. Oh, magazines–this is for you, too. Stop telling us that this lipstick, that high-heeled boot, that pencil skirt is the thing we MUST own to snare Mr. Right.
STOP telling me to date (or not to date) White men. All of you. Seriously. I’ll date that blue dude from “Avatar” if I freakin’ want to. People dating the rainbow coalition, good for you. People only attracted to a certain type, good for you. People who have given up on one type and are looking for another type to swoop in and save them, good luck with that. Either way, I’m tired of hearing about it.
STOP looking for someone to blame. It’s not that all Black women are mean or picky or high-maintenance–GTFOH with that. It’s not that all Black men are trifling or thuggish or under-employed–that’s bullshiggity, too. All the Black men are not in jail, all the sisters aren’t expecting “too much”–those are cop out answers. I’m sure every woman who is single could sit down and point to a variety of reasons (good, bad and in-between) why they are that way today. Each story is an individual one both personal and unique to the person telling it. Let them own that story, quit painting with the broad strokes…
STOP acting like we are either sitting around waiting to exhale or are gasping our last breath surrounded by 20 cats. Can we not be vibrant, complete individuals regardless of relationship status? And this goes for you too other sisters… stop giving us the “I’m so sad for you” look because you have a man and we don’t (at the moment). This just makes us angry and less sympathetic should things not work out between you and your boo. We don’t need sympathy, just a little support and a smile. Please and thank you in advance.
STOP acting like my brains are a detriment. I shall not be dumbing it down for the cause of snaring a man. Nor will I emasculate him by pointing out all the stuff I may know that he doesn’t. Not everybody can match my Scrabble game… I’m evil with it, son… evil. Don’t come at me with the Trivial Pursuit either… moving on. This whole concept of acting like I’m less than I am to make a man feel like more than he is… that’s crap. That means we are not a fit. Onto the next… hopefully.
STOP judging me because I have standards. Not prejudices… standards. Sure I would date the UPS man if we found each other attractive and interesting. But the UPS man who has four kids, four baby mamas, two parole officers and a habit of blowing his paycheck on a great batch of chronic… hell no. That doesn’t make me snobby or bougie, that makes me self-aware of my own code of values, tolerance and limitations.
STOP as
it is worth the read for black women because this is exactly how i feel.
Best answer:
Answer by Sazh Katzroy
Man did you have to write an essay. Im just gonna say “Whatever”. Everyone is tired of all the black this black that topics.
Add your own answer in the comments!
I’m here to answer the question “why black men dont date black women”?
Question by : I’m here to answer the question “why black men dont date black women”?
Now lately I have noticed questions about “black men bashing black women” or “black men not wanting black women”. And I’m sure alot of black women feel the same way. I’m sure it leads to alot of unansered questions. Or if you are getting answers trust me I know they are dumb answers. But as a black man I will answer the question for you. Now like I said I am a black man therefor it was only natural for me to desire a black woman and want to cherish a black woman. But over the years that desire had been fading away more and more as the years past. Before you start to judge please let me finish.
Now about 10 years Black men were going through this “trend” or “phase” where cheating was the so called thing. Well within this time period we have hurt women emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. That part I can admit, yes we were wrong for our actions. Well also in that time period (the 90′ until 2000) Black men were labeled as low-down, good for nothing, dogs, players etc…. I’m sure you remember the names you gave us. Some women even went to the extent of dating outside of the black race due to the constant pain us men put upon them. But then something happened, between the pain and this new millenium we in, the tables have turned dramatically. It’s like the women (black women that is) took on the role of a man and the men took on the role of the female. Trust me I am going to explain just bare with me. Now today in this generation I see alot more black men being faithful to their significant other, only to find out that they were not getting the same in return. And this seems to continue on more and more as days, years, and time passes by. Therefore thats where the anger comes from. But im’m not done.
This part pertains to most (not all) but most baby mothers out there. The majority of the black baby mother’s i know (including my own) are also making black men resentful towards black women. Now I know i just touched a few nerves but im not done. The reason being……alot of black men in todays society (notice i said alot) want to be in their childs life, even after the seperation of a relationship. Now for the most part baby mothers are cool and fine until they have an argument with the baby daddy and the first thing they screqam and yell out is “you will never see him/her again and blah blah blah”. Now truth be told a man hates to hear them words but over time, that same threat with also make him resentful towards his baby mother. Now not to offend my sisters out there, but after so many times of this a man will start to feel like this is too much drama for him and he will not put himself back in this situation again, therefore no longer dating black women.
Now i know i touched a few nerves and may even get cussed out for this (at least for the length of it). But these are a few reasons why black men bash black women and some no longer date them.
Additional Details
Please give feedback, honest opinions
when you decide to answer the question, keep in mind that i was only basing everything on my personal experiences and other black men i know. this is not a fact for all black men. and when i use the word “bash” i mean talked down upon
I also said “low-down” not “down-low”…..that statement is for the girl who got it confused
Best answer:
Answer by Nicer
You’re doing it wrong!
Add your own answer in the comments!
My girlfriend says “black people don’t tip”. How can I help her?
Question by : My girlfriend says “black people don’t tip”. How can I help her?
I have been dating this girl now for 2 years and have been unable to get her to budge on tipping. She always tells me “black people don’t tip” whenever I try to get her to tip. I always end up leaving a 20% tip, but she argues with me because she doesn’t feel I should be leaving a tip either. asked her why she feels that black people don’t tip and she says it is because of the way she was raised. She says growing up her family didn’t have a lot of money so they never left a tip. Now, I have asked her mother if that was true and she said that even though they didn’t have a lot of money they always taught their kids to tip for good service.
What can I do about my girlfriend? Do most black people not tip? I asked one of her friends who is a waitress in a restaurant and she said that she usually gets bad tips from black people.
Help? Please.
Best answer:
Answer by æ
well, if you gf is saying that, and the waitress in the resteraunt says that. Then its probably true around where you live. Its just a fact of life i suppose?
Add your own answer in the comments!
Making Friends With Black People
Making Friends With Black People Top Deals
It Ain’t All Good: Why Black Men Should Not Date White Women
It Ain’t All Good: Why Black Men Should Not Date White Women
Exploring the controversial subject and attraction of interracial relationships, this balanced analysis studies the historical, cultural, and societal mores that influence these unions. Factors such as slavery and the perception of white women as forbidden fruit,” the preponderance of women with lighter complexions in segments airing on BET and MTV, and the self-image and agenda of the African American male are explored in the context of how these issues may inadvertently influence the choi
List Price: $ 14.95
Price: $ 8.88
Why Black Men Love White Women: Going Beyond Sexual Politics to the Heart of the Matter
Why Black Men Love White Women: Going Beyond Sexual Politics to the Heart of the Matter
THE IRREVERENT, EYE-OPENING, AND HILARIOUS BOOK THAT DARES TO ASK… Why do so many high-profile black men date and marry the most ordinary white women? Why do so many other black men desire and covet the company of white women? And why does this subject deeply touch so many people of both races? Are these provocative questions matters of love, sex, revenge, power, or politics? All of the above, asserts Rajen Persaud in this illuminating, no-holds-barred book that will have you laughin
List Price: $ 24.00
Price: $ 7.38
Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys Star says “I Love Black Women!”
Sundance TV star Nathan Hale Williams of “Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys” sits down with Abiola Abrams (www.AbiolaTV.com) at Native Restaurant in Harlem to talk about love, relationships, sex, dating, his Essence Magazine column and new book. Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys explores the friendships between gay men and straight women.
Video Rating: 5 / 5
we bout to go hard on RELATIONSHIPS; Y’all ready for the ride? This ride ain’t for the faint of heart Person referred to in this vid: www.youtube.com
Video Rating: 4 / 5
Fighting Words : Personal Essays by Black Gay Men : Breaking the Silence on Issues of Identity, Family Relationships, Race, and Sexuality Reviews
Fighting Words : Personal Essays by Black Gay Men : Breaking the Silence on Issues of Identity, Family Relationships, Race, and Sexuality
Writings that range from the street-smart to the erudite, from the erotic to the political and spiritual, this collection explores the crosscurrents of pressures that black gay men face, and the ways they have coped with them – or failed to.’
List Price: $ 12.50
Price: $ 51.99
VINTAGE " THE WRESTLING SCENE " GUY LEBOW (1950) HOMECRAFTS SPORT DIV., VG+
 | US $7.95 End Date: Saturday May-19-2012 14:22:08 PDT Buy It Now for only: US $7.95 Buy it now | Add to watch list |
 | US $6.99 End Date: Saturday May-19-2012 14:22:22 PDT Buy It Now for only: US $6.99 Buy it now | Add to watch list |
